Caregiving While Working From Home — A Stab at Time Management
Being a primary caregiver for an elderly parent is one of the most difficult jobs in the world. It’s emotionally and physically exhausting, and it can be even more challenging when you’re also trying to work from home. Juggling both roles can be overwhelming and frustrating because there are only 24 hours in the day.
I always feel like I am short changing either my clients or my family. I never seem to be able to be productive enough, empathetic enough, or just plain enough. I am tired of always feeling like I should be doing more or something else. If I am taking my Mom out for a drive so she can get out of the house, I have a nagging feeling like I should be working, reviewing a file, talking to a client, crossing something off my eternal to-do list.
When I am working, I feel like I should be making my Mom’s next meal or laundry or changing her bedding.
I am desperate just to be. Be in a moment and feeling like that is where I should be.
In a moment of distress, I sought answers from Google for help with time management. Surely there must be others who do this better than me. There must be those who are willing to share nuggets of wisdom, tips, slivers of experience that I can employ.
As always, there was a plethora of advice and systems for time management. No matter what your personal preference is there is a planner, a system, a organizational tool that would helpful. I read through them all and found that none of these tips had caregiving in mind.
There was one tip gave me pause, especially in the context of caregiving.
Prioritize your tasks.
In theory and in general this is a good idea in your personal or professional life. But being a caregiver is fluid in its demand on time. It is nearly impossible to prioritize daily tasks into any type of systematic regime.
There are daily tasks that have to be done by schedule — medication and baths for example. But my Mom’s needs change day to day, hour to hour. There are days when she is just exhausted and sleeps a large portion of the day. Other days, she is feisty and wants to go for a drive. And any given minute, she may need a diaper change, more water, increase the heat, open a window, put on socks, take off socks….tasks are as varied as your imagination.
How to prioritize these tasks against the commitments and demands of a professional day? Returning phone calls, emails, not to mention the actual work that needs to get done. I am an attorney and my clients come to me for help. I am working to solve one of their problems. By what criteria do I prioritize tasks in my professional life against the tasks required in personal life? I have no idea.
I have come to accept that the assignment of priority needs not to be made among tasks but with intention. Is it priority to care for my Mom or to work? If the answer is work, then my Mom can wait to have her diaper changed or be too hot/too cold, not have meals on time, be thirsty or hungry while I finish my work.
Though for me and for now, my priority and intention is to care for my Mom. Work is a very close second even when it means that I am financially unstable for a while. I am self employed. If I do not work, I do not make money.
So, I work very strange hours. I often wake up at 4am and start working until 7am when my Mom wakes up. Then I work in 30–45 minute increments throughout the day and then start work again at 7pm after my Mom sleeps until 10pm or until I fade. Clients have become used to emails at all hours and are understanding as I have told them about the responsibilities with my Mom. I have wonderful clients.
I do not recommend this time management system to anyone. But for this caregiver who also works from home, it is the one that works with varying degrees of success.
But every day, I commit to my intention anew and hope my day cooperates.
